ABC’s revival of The Superstars premiered last week, and it’s on again tonight at 8 p.m. ET. Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who dabbles in both ballroom dancing and dropping by our office, is currently in first place with his partner, freeskiing star Kristi Leskinen. (He’s the “celebrity” and she’s the “athlete,” which must really boil his blood, so it’s a good thing he’s in the water.) I watched the premiere out of devotion to my fake DWTS boyfriend, assuming it’d be incredibly lame. The whole thing is basically an advertisement for Atlantis Resort and Casino disguised as a giant obstacle course, so it’s already ridiculous just on principle. And it is pretty dumb, to be honest, but in a totally benign, Wipeout-y kind of way — so stupid it’s oddly calming. At one point, I realized I was willingly spending my life watching 16 random people “white water raft” down a man-made lazy river and thought to myself, “Why would you do this?” But maybe a better question, especially during these troubled times, is “Why wouldn’t you do this?” After all, silly self, it’s Maks. [BIG SPLASH.]
Anyone else tuning in to Superstars tonight? Joanna Krupa and Terrell Owens are back because Jennifer Capriati got injured, so maybe Joanna can completely wig out on T.O. again for being too big and slow to navigate his behemoth body through a complicated barricade. Just be sure to hit mute whenever Ali Landry appears on-screen. God, her voice is annoying.
I’m not doing a great job selling this show, huh? Should’ve just left it at “I mean why not?”