June 19, 2009 at 04:00 AM EDT

”When did you become this girl who sits around pining and making lists and second- guessing your choices? Paging Dr. Grey! No, wait, you are more like Joey Potter. No, you’re worse. You’re the F-word. Felicity.” — Ashleigh, to a lovelorn Casey, on Greek

”I’m telling you, it’s been tough. I finally got my mom to switch to digital, and now if I can just get her to switch from Conan.” — David Letterman on Late Show

”Edward Whitacre, the former chairman of AT&T, was appointed the new chairman of General Motors. I’m not sure about his business plan — he’s giving away free cars on nights and weekends.” — Jimmy Fallon on Late Night

”Since my hair is the talk of the town, let’s just make it a little bit worse, shall we?” — Kate, while putting on a fuzzy hat, on Jon & Kate Plus Eight

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