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Start mentally preparing for 'Weeds' right now

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No, I do not mean “go smoke a bowl.” That’s illegal. Instead, enroll in Justin Kirk’s University of Andy for a few minutes. “Reach your climax today!” Speaking of which, don’t miss How to Satisfy a Woman. And, not speaking of which, How to Survive a Bear Attack. Actually, all of the lessons are hilarious. Just go there. Get your degree already.

You can also blaze through season 4 in the amount of time it takes to hit your bong. It’s so weird that Showtime’s making it super easy for stoners to watch this show. Anyone else excited for Weeds tonight at 10 ET? Leave your thoughts about the season 5 premiere in the comments if you can even make it over to your keyboard. You pothead.

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