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'The Real Housewives of New York City': Lost, mostly unnecessary, footage

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I never miss a chance to catch up with my New York ladies. (Especially now that I’m marooned in Jersey with bat woman Danielle.) But last night’s hour of unseen footage was for the most part a yawn. Highlights included my beloved Gloria going pale in the face as she read Simon’s slam against her Long Island-born and bred daughter; a scene of Jill — I miss you, I’ve become a fan on Facebook! — nagging Bobby to teach Ali how to bowl; meeting Alex and Simon’s most excellent gay friends who were visiting with their adopted son (“My gaydar does not go off at all with Simon,” said one. “No,” said his husband, “but I would kill for his shoes”); and a long scene of Bethenny dancing with the gays on Fire Island. Never is our tightly wound girl more loose and relaxed than when on a dance floor, unless Brad is there, in a kerchief and farmer shirt, trying to grind her from behind. I had to turn on the overhead fan after watching the scene of schoolgirl/photographer mischief at Phillipe’s studio. Hubbita hubba, I know Bethenny and our lovely Frenchman are no longer together, but I hope she made some lovely memories.

 

As for lowlights, well, where to start? Jill badgered a mystified headmaster for an orphans school in a Kenyan village about whether they had horses or television in Africa. Kelly talked about how it’s really important to her to be in the trenches when it comes to charity — as in, lying on a giant stuffed dog in her closet and decreeing which of her clothes she was willing to let a stylist friend donate to those affected by the recession. LuAnn’s pretty nieces invented magnet bibs. Ramona told us her business head was 10 times more impressive than her beauty. Snooze.

I will say that Alex, who shined brightest in the reunion specials, had a great moment of responding to the ongoing questions about her husband’s sexuality. She pointed out, quite persuasively, that if Simon were in fact gay he would own it with such force that he’d have a rainbow tattoo smack dab on his forehead.

I will say that it was nice to see another glimpse of Ramona’s sane and smoking hot friend Joni, who I still think should replace Kelly next season.

I will say that Andy should never again use the term “Bravo-lebrity.”

What did you all think? A lost hour from your lives that you’ll never get back, or a fun extra helping of the New Yorkers? Did anything about those magnet bibs make sense to you? Have you ever, as Bethenny so succinctly put it, danced until your “tits fell off?”