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The Public Eye

Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from May 22 to 28, 2009

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”I was going to ask you what’s new, but I think I know.” — Ryan Seacrest, to a suddenly buxom Bikini Girl, on American Idol

”I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. You really taught me what not to look for in a woman.” — Richard (Clark Gregg) to Christine, right before getting remarried, on The New Adventures of Old Christine

”This is my first apology in about 24 years.” — Spencer Pratt, finally admitting to Lauren that he spread the sex-tape rumors about her, on The Hills

”I can’t lose you guys! Marc, it would be like losing my soul mate. And Betty, it would be like losing an elderly aunt that I’m sort of fond of.” — Amanda (Becki Newton), at the prospect of Marc and Betty leaving Mode, on Ugly Betty

”A videogame company gave Queen Elizabeth a gold-plated Nintendo Wii. Her favorite game: Nintendo Waving.” — Jimmy Fallon on Late Night