Tonight’s the night. Liiiiiiiiiiiiive! From Hollywood. THIS is the Dancing With the Stars performance finale. Be sure to check out my updated Crazy Costume Watch photo gallery, which features 31 (a perfect score +1) of the most ridiculous costumes of season 8. Tomorrow, we’ll have another DWTS fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion treat: Head costume designer Randall Christensen will discuss his 10 favorite looks of the season. I asked him whether he’d prefer to be covered in sequins or fringe for eternity and he said “Swarovski crystals.” That seems about right. Looking ahead to tonight’s performance round, which will undoubtedly feature Len Goodman’s once-a-season DANCMSTR vanity license plate, here are my…
FANTASY FREESTYLES FOR THE FINAL 3
Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas (pictured) Mark returns to his trademark Mark Ballas Fish Face for an underwater-themed quickstep. Gurgle gurgle gurgle…Shawn somehow ends up on Bela Karolyi’s lap in the front row. The audience isn’t sure if this is as cute as they thought it would be. Had he just been hanging out in the coral reef? Weird. Panic at the disco! Shawn executes full-twisting double back off the judges’ desk to save the day. Standing O!
Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke build the entire dance — a combination of rumba (Smooth) and exotic pole work in the Gallic tradition (Standard) — around Gilles’ finely sculpted ass. Standing O! But wait, no one can find Bruno Tonioli. Search party quickly becomes dance party thanks to a rousing series of whoops and hollers from PopWatch blogger Carrie Ann Inaba. It turns out Bruno had followed Lil’ Kim’s lead from last week and climbed into Zheeeeeeeeeel’s pants.
Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani dress in overalls. It’s so unlikely! Suddenly, a drumroll. What’s that? A Super Mario Bros.-esque animated vine sprouts from beneath the sparkly decal covering Melissa’s classy lower back tattoo. Tony hops on, scurries up until he can touch the disco ball suspended from the ceiling. He wants it so bad. Standing O!
Who do you think deserves to win? (I’m going with Gilles.) Post your own fantasy freestyles below, and see you tomorrow morning for the second-to-last TV Watch!