· Justin Timberlake: We know you’re busy and all, but could you please host Saturday Night Live every week?
· Amy Ryan returns to The Office. Our only quibble: What took her so long?
· Celebrity Apprentice feud: Team Joan Rivers
· The trailer for The Hangover. We love it — and not just because it stars Bradley Cooper.
· Best use of the word boom: ”Boom Boom Pow” by Black Eyed Peas.
· Best use of the word bloom: The Brothers Bloom, starring Adrien Brody.
· Anticipating HBO’s vampire drama True Blood — even though it doesn’t star Bradley Cooper.
· The picture of Barack Obama as Spock.
· Alt-rock band Placebo cover ”Wouldn’t It Be Good” from the Pretty in Pink soundtrack, which came out 23 years ago. But no, you’re totally not old.
· Eva Longoria Parker: This is how to dress for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
· Barbara Walters: This is not how to dress for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
· A beauty-salon owner finds a script for the Twilight sequel in a trash bin. We hope this isn’t some heavy-handed metaphor.
· Present-day Cher in old ’80s outfit: Holy crap!
· The unsettling feeling of watching Winona Ryder play someone’s mother.
· Disturbing word of the week: bubbies (n): ”either of two milk-secreting, glandular organs on the chest of a woman,” only grown on Real Housewives of New Jersey.
· The loud nonsense that is the G.I. Joe trailer.
· Anyone who’s saying mean things about Elizabeth Edwards: This circle’s reserved for you — permanently.
· We’re not exactly accusing Jordin Sparks of plagiarism on her new single ”Battlefield,” but you can judge the lyrics for yourself: ”Why does love always feel like a battlefield.”
· Ciara, it takes more than a Rhythm Nation ponytail and a duet with Justin Timberlake to make you Janet Jackson. You also have to be able to sing.
· Eminem-Mariah drama: Wait, did we just time-travel back to 2002?