That headline is just about all the excitement I can muster up for America’s Next Top Model cycle 12, which ended last night with whatever is a greasy runway’s aural equivalent of a “bang.” I won’t spoil the winner here, but I will admit that when her name popped up on the You’re A Cover Girl: It’s All Downhill From Here screen, I realized with amazement that I’d never noticed exactly how it was spelled. That pretty much sums up the season.
It wouldn’t be too spoiler-y to revel in the Allison vs. Teyona (pictured, bottom) runway-show ridiculata, though. The hair people totally sabotaged Teyona’s weave on purpose so she’d have to whip all three feet of it around and around (pictured, top) like the fabulous paint-wrestler she’d dreamed of being since she was a little girl. That was the best part of the runway spectacle; the non-competing models flailing lifelessly in a heap with “We don’t have to play Showgirls too, right?” faces ran a close second. This was almost as fierce a challenge as the “real. live. ANIMAL BLOOD!” photo shoot on EW.com’s famed America’s Next Top Doll.
Thoughts on the finale, PopWatchers? They better be fierce. We need to see more of your personality.