The first trailer for Rob Marshall’s star-packed song-and-dance explosion Nine (in theaters this November) is finally out, and it’s a whole lot of something. Music! Costumes! Is there a plot? Who cares!
The movie — an adaptation of a musical based on a play based on Federico Fellini’s classic 8 1/2 (whew) — features Daniel Day-Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Fergie, Kate Hudson, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sophia Loren, Marion Cotillard, and, apparently, enough hairspray to fill an oil-freighter. The first few seconds are calm: The lighting is low, a bell tolls nine times, Judi tells Daniel that directing a movie is easy. Then someone starts singing: “Beeeee Italian…” and we’re off. My attempt to liveblog the clip is as follows:
“Who’s singing? Fergie? Uh oh, Nicole looks a little Stepford. The movie’s in black and white? No, it’s in color. Hi Fergie! Marion is laughing. Daniel isn’t. Big sets! Big numbers! Kate Hudson looks fantastic! Holy….Can Penelope really do that with her leg? So many ladies and just one man! Everyone with bouffants! Sophia Loren, now with 60% more cheekbones! Oh, it’s you again, Judi. Aaaaand we’re out.”
Honestly, I’m worn out just from watching the thing. But you can bet I’ll be first in line for this movie when it comes out. I love a good musical, and even if this one ends up being as nonsensical as this trailer implies, it still promises the kind of energy and razzle-dazzle and good old-fashioned oomph that you rarely find these days outside of a Beyoncé video.
What about you, PopWatchers? Does the Nine trailer get a 10?