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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from May 1 to 7, 2009

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”I thought my only maternal instinct was nursing a bottle of whiskey!”
—Christina (Ashley Jensen), after receiving a compliment for her good mothering skills, on Ugly Betty

”It’s Florida, Jack! It’s like it never stopped being the ’70s down there. And a guy like Paul, who can drive at night, you just don’t say no to that.”
—Jack’s mother, Colleen (Elaine Stritch), when her affair with a married senior citizen is discovered, on 30 Rock

”I love tapas. It’s like appetizers for a meal that never comes!”
—Marge (Julie Kavner) on The Simpsons