Singer-songwriter Jewel has issued an ultimatum to ailing Dancing With the Stars contestant Melissa “Boneless Ribs” Rycroft: “Ride hurt or don’t get a score.” She wrote this on her husband Ty Murray’s MySpace blog. I think Jewel, whose knee injury forced her to back out of the season before it even began, might be under the impression that she’s still on the show. How else to explain this hilariously catty comment, not to mention Monday night’s tie-dyed/zebra print frock? (Little girl beside her is not impressed!)
Melissa, who suffered a hairline fracture in her ribcage, isn’t the only ailing Star. Much like the Tasty Chilean Sea Bass of a Man (Cristian de la Fuente) before him, Gilles Marini is putting off surgery for his separated shoulder until the end of the season. Now, I love Zheeeeeeeeel, and enjoy watching a healthy Melissa dance. They’re both — “in no particular order” — talented and very pretty. But I may have finally hit my “watching hurt people do the same thing that made them hurt” limit this season. When Steve-O ruined his back after voluntarily executing a front flip while wearing a mic pack, I could barely sit still as he attempted to rehearse and perform anyway, because I was suddenly hyper-aware of my own back. Has anyone else felt a body part become the “proxy” for an injured contestant? This week, Melissa said she had trouble breathing after receiving treatment for her rib. DOES DANCING WITH THE STARS WANT ME TO NOT BREATHE? This show is so much more twisted than you think.
What about you, DANCMSTR P-Dubs? Is Jewel right? Are you sick of watching sick people dance?