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'Celebrity Apprentice' recap: Don't sweat the small stuff

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Okay, my fellow Celebrity Apprentice-viewing PopWatchers, how delectably dramatic was this week’s episode? Now that they’re back to the one-challenge-per-show format, it allows more time for what reality TV is all about: juicy, juicy fighting. Last night, the teams were charged with creating a four-page advertorial for Right Guard’s newest deodorant that featured New York Knicks power forward/Annie Duke’s BFF David Lee. So many things made me happy about the episode: that both teams (AND the Right Guard execs) immediately thought ”naked” when figuring out how to get Lee to pose; that KOTU’s storyboard stick figures were so endearingly terrible; that Annie’s best comeback when arguing with Joan was that ”poker players are the most awesome people in the world!”

First things first, though — I was disappointed when the Donaldmoved Jesse to KOTU because I couldn’t figure out the motive behind themove. Was he trying to create a super team that would beat Athena, orwas he picking Jesse as the next patsy to be forced out? I mean, really— Joan’s totally safe because Trump loves her (and so do I), andClint’s totally safe because he’s so stubbornly incompetent that theyneed him around for drama. I’m sure Clint’s a very nice guy outside ofthe confines of a heavily edited reality show, but he comes across as agrade-A douchebag on TV. And since the past, like, five episodes havebeen all about how he sucks, they’re either setting him up for a darkhorse victory (possible), or a spectacular failure (more likely).

The producers did such a good job of focusing on each team’sweaknesses in the challenge that it was hard to tell whether Melissa’swhining or Jesse’s passive-aggressiveness would prove to be thebreaking point this week. It might’ve been obvious to everyone but meas to who would win, but I thought the producers made it seem theentire time that Athena’s ad would be better — or maybe that’s justbecause their idea sounded more competent, and it didn’t includedeodorant clip art that towered over Lee’s head. While Jessestraight-up laughed in Clint’s face after repeatedly telling him the adwas horrible, Melissa spent the entire time complaining about how newBFFs Annie and Brande were totally having a party on Friday night withboys and spin the bottle but they weren’t inviting her! Or, actually,that they were working together to edge her out. Which they pretty muchwere.

Apparently the Right Guard execs liked both teams’ ads, but Trumpultimately awarded the win to KOTU. All of Annie’s manipulating (wellplayed, lady), Brande’s delegating (not as well played, but good foryou anyway) and Melissa’s whining (probably founded, but way moredramatic than necessary) paid off, because Trump fired Melissa after alast-minute surge of passionate defensiveness from Brande. Melissa, NOTHAPPY with the decision, stormed out of the boardroom, demanded herstuff back, and refused a post-show interview, dragging her mom behindher.

Unfortunately, we have to wait until next week to see the aftermathof Melissa’s post-elimination tantrum. Will Joan return after herdaughter’s ousting or won’t she?! (She totally will.) Until then,PopWatchers, tell me: Which was more awkward: Joan’s weird/unfunny NBArace joke, or Brande comparing herself to Ivanka, a Wharton graduate?Which Rivers had the best one-liner? And which ad feature was worse:KOTU’s Microsoft Paint-looking ”fire” or Athena’s stupid font?