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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from April 10 to 16, 2009

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”Her address is just Cher, California. It’s like writing a letter to Santa!”
—Kathy Griffin, relating her attendance at a party at Cher’s house, on Kathy Griffin: She’ll Cut a Bitch

”I used to hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. I studied him to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do.”
—Dwight (Rainn Wilson), explaining his new kinship with Andy, on The Office

”What’s up, Brendanawicz, you crazy old…Polish person.”
—Leslie (Amy Poehler), awkwardly trying to bond in the office, on Parks and Recreation

”I can promise you Ritchie does not have lice. He takes a 45-minute shower every day. I mean, if you told me he was going blind, that would make sense.”
—Christine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), when her son’s class has an outbreak, on The New Adventures of Old Christine

”After 72 years and over 15,000 episodes, CBS is canceling the soap opera Guiding Light. CBS said the show’s viewership dropped in recent months after white people started having real problems.”
—Seth Meyers on Saturday Night Live