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'Harper's Island': Who's gonna die tonight?

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Tonight is the second installment of CBS’ 13-episode mystery series Harper’s Island. It’s not the most mind-twisting show of all time — Harper’s has a trashy-ish I Know What You Did Last Summer vibe — but I found it to be quite a nice little trifle last week, especially since a handful of my Thursday night staples (Grey’s, Ugly Betty) weren’t debuting new episodes.

Basically, the show is about a wedding party who goes to an island off the shore of Seattle for the nuptials and, as the creepy-voiced little girl Madison keeps saying when the show cuts to commercials, most of the folks are going to be killed off “one by one.” So far, the bride’s cousin, Ben, has been offed — he was tied to the propellers of the ferry that the party took to the island and you can figure out what happened to him. We know virtually nothing about him and why anyone would want to kill him. And then, at the end of last week’s episode, the groom’s uncle Marty (poor Harry Hamlin!) was sliced in half after falling part-way through a rickety old bridge. He, however, was more of an obvious target because he saw an exchange he shouldn’t have between the bride’s nasty father and the bride’s ex-boyfriend. Actually, if you missed the episode, why don’t you just catch this helpful little recap, via CBS:

 

Now, people, the question is: Who’s gonna die tonight? Honestly, with the randomness of Ben and Marty’s deaths last weekend, that’s a hard question to answer. Maybe an inconsequential bridesmaid or two? An unsuspecting child? The weird, overly blonde couple, perhaps?

Yet another question: With the history on the island (a crazed man killed six people on the island years ago) and now that uncle Marty will be discovered dead (cousin Ben seems to be forgotten by this point), why would these crazy folks continue with the week-long wedding festivities? Seems nuts to me. Get off the damn island!

And most importantly, who’s killing all these folks? Can’t be the same guy who did it last time because, supposedly, he’s dead, too. But you know how these things work, a la I Know What You Did Last Summer. No one is ever really dead. The suspects that the above video points out — the groom’s weirdo brother JD and the bride’s powerful dad — are moot, as far as I’m concerned. With 12 episodes to go, it couldn’t be so easy to figure out the mystery yet, right? No good R.L. Stine-ish murder mystery would even hint toward the true killer this early.

Do you have any early theories, PopWatchers? Who’s killing? Who’s dying tonight? Are you even watching?

More on ‘Harper’s Island’ from EW:
‘Harper’s Island’: Was it seriously ‘debauch’?
‘Southland’ vs. ‘Harper’s Island’: New-show face-off!
Spring TV preview: CBS’s ‘Harper’s Island’

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