A few months ago, I jokingly suggested that Canada pretty much delegitimized themselves as a country the minute they nominated barely veiled entendre-loving rockers Nickelback for more Juno Awards than any other artist this year. That post sparked a veritable snowstorm of comments, both agreeing and disagreeing with my perspective (as well as helpfully opening my eyes to the meaning of the word “aboriginal” in your land), so I followed it with a chance for the readers of EW.com to nominate their own favorites for a recount.
Well, congratulations, Canadians. The Junos took place this weekend, and I am proud to see that you have taken a national stand and — oh, wait. Nickelback won more Junos than anybody.
Never fear, ye hardy northern souls! It is time to take a break from your crazy sex acts and focus, for I have finally, and very unscientifically, compiled the results of your recount voting to determine the artists that you, the people, would rather see being honored: Were you in charge, Hawksley Workman would be a household name, and Martha Wainwright could hold her head high. You seem fine with the notion of Sam Roberts being your Artist of the Year, and were no doubt thrilled at the Stills‘ wins for new group and alterna album — but you’d like to see more attention paid to Plants and Animals, City and Colour (beyond Dallas Green’s songwriting win), Kreesha Turner, Chad VanGaalen and Midway State. And I think it’s unanimous: Buffy St. Marie is your aboriginal all-star.
Sadly, yes, the most total votes in our recount went to Celine Dion. But I think that’s just because she has a very active message board community, and as we all know, message boards breed fanaticism. Hey! Look! There’s one right here beneath this post! Why not use it to let the world know where the Junos got it right, where they got it wrong — and how concerned parties might best cope with the knowledge that the words “Nickelback” and “Canada” will always be as close together as “maple” and “syrup”?