EW Staff
March 27, 2009 AT 04:00 AM EDT

· Rashida Jones. Just because.
· Clive Owen‘s tailor
· ”I’m slappin’ da bass!”
· RIP Edie — guess we’ll find out if tramps go to heaven
· Faith Ford and Courtney Thorne-Smith to star in a Lifetime movie about sororities. Wait, is it Bullseye’s birthday?
· According to the Battlestar Galactica finale, we’ve all got a little Cylon in us. And we’re okay with that

· What you’re missing on the fourth hour of the Today show: Kathie Lee talks about picking cotton…out of her father’s belly button
· A mob scene turns out at SXSW for…Third Eye Blind. What year is it, exactly?
· There’s no way that Ashton, Demi, Bruce, and the new Mrs. Bruce are really that functional, right?
· The revival of Rush: Bullseye wishes he paid more attention in the ’80s instead of being weirded out by all the guys in high school who tried to grow Geddy Lee hair
· Alyssa Milano: We want to like you, but you make it difficult when you do things like write a book about being a Major League Baseball boy toy
· Calista Flockhart shuns the advice of The Rules‘ girls and gets the ring anyway…seven years later
· The Millionaire Matchmaker‘s cougar. Likes: guns, young studs. Dislikes: facial mobility
· Jon & Kate Plus 8 finishes its season. Does that mean we have to pay attention to the Octomom again?

· Zac Efron won’t do the Footloose remake, ensuring that we will not be playing Six Degrees of Zac Efron in 20 years
· Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: Why is this book a best-seller?
· That hat from Carrie Underwood‘s Idol performance
· The Amazing Race reintroduces the world to the nose flute, which causes us to reintroduce the world to our lunch

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