Oh, Lindsay. We know it hasn’t always been easy, living la vida Lohan: Your parentage is truly unfortunate, there are personal struggles, and financially, times are tough. But for the love of Long Island, what are you doing with your career??? Pushing your own self tanner — fine. Save a few girls who from a melanoma or two. And getting paid for club appearances, well, we wouldn’t sneeze on $20,000 for a few hours of Red Bull (without vodka? if you say so…) shenanigans either.
However! Your new ad campaign for Italian clothing line Fornarina is, in a word, merda. Surely, Meryl Streep, on the set of A Prairie Home Companion, did not recommend “clip-on bangs” as a career move. And if she could, your Mean Girls co-star and scribe Tina Fey would no doubt tell you: Jacking your wardrobe from Sunset Boulevard Barbie and bleating “Crash! Glam! Pink! Heart! Wow!” like the hostess of a cable-access show for Seussical martian toddlers just makes everyone uncomfortable.
Seriously, Linds; you can do so much better. Please, leave these jobs to Mischa “My IMDB page is a giant pile of sad” Barton, and try to get back to the girl we knew. I don’t know, maybe go away for a while and then come back and do something to show that you really want to work again — and that you’ll show up on set, stand up straight, and be uncrazy and insurable. Hollywood, unlike F. Scott Fitzgerald, loves a second act. But you tell me, PopWatchers — can she bring it back? Do you want her to? What should her next step be?