Rod Blagojevich’s book
Ex — Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich has signed a deal to write a book about life in office. Here are some (completely fabricated) excerpts.
”I had this friend. Let’s call him Schmod Schmagojevich. He was schmovernor of Schmillinois. And boy, did he take some schmibes.”
”I’m sitting under the blow-dryer next to Roland Burris, and he asks, ‘How do you make your hair stay like that?’ And I say, ‘I bribed it.’ We laugh, but I notice Rahm Emanuel and Barack Obama the next dryer over, so we IM instead.”
”I spent three wonderful months online, known to other users only as Nigerian prince Kamara Blagojevich. I didn’t set out to swindle people. I honestly wanted to know what it felt like to be Nigerian.”
Readers will find $25,000 in cash ”if they keep their traps shut about the stuff they just read.”