The final trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine landed today, and maybe I’m still recovering from yesterday’s Public Enemies trailer because…this just didn’t do it for me. I mean, yes, lots of things blow up, and Hugh Jackman does have luscious muscles, but now I’m worried.
Here’s a rough breakdown of my thoughts during this trailer:
0:16: What does that chest tattoo mean?
0:20: Wolverine was in the Civil War?!
0:40: How many lifeless women has Wolverine cradled in his arms? (That’s the second one in this trailer….)
0:56: I think “violently emerging from a futuristic metamorphosis bath” needs to go on the sci-fi ban list. The Matrix, BSG, enough already.
1:06: Ride your motorcycle away from an explosion…
1:09: Eeeew, gross nails
1:11: Finally, Liev Schrieber and Hugh Jackman are wrestling somewhere other than in my fantasies!
1:12: Ride your motorcycle away from a helicopter…
1:13: or away from a jeep….
1:15: or another explosion…
1:24: Is that kid — baby Cyclops, I think — writing backwards on the blackboard? The hell?
1:31: TIM RIGGINS!
1:33-2:16: Fighting! Assplosions!
2:19: HE JUMPED ON TOP OF THE HELICOPTER
2:21: The claw effects are a little cheesy/phony-looking.
Part of what I loved about X2 was how political and philosophical it was, and I’m not getting that action-allegory vibe from this trailer.
What about you, Pop[tart]Watchers? Does this trailer make you want to mutate?