Let’s let Olympic figure skater Scott Hamilton sum up this wonderfully absurd second season of Celebrity Apprentice: “This is the most potentially dysfunctional group. You know, the way I look at it is we’re putting the fun in dysfunctional.” How much more can we add? Sure, last season boasted such characters as acerbic Brit Piers Morgan and the ever-mockable Stevie B (reality TV just ain’t the same without you, B!). But Trump really brought out the big guns for season 2. Dennis Rodman. Andrew Dice Clay. Joan and Melissa Rivers. I haven’t seen a fiercer battle of the egos since Kanye West last looked in the mirror!
So, thank you, Donald Trump, for assembling this ridiculous group of people, who collectively produce one heckuvan entertaining premiere. Some (non-spoiler) highlights from the two-hour show: Herschel Walker holds Andrew Dice Clay’s hand! Tom Green turns down his crazy dial! Dennis Rodman wears sunglasses at night — while inside! The suitcase No. 1 model from Deal or No Deal has a name! And, finally, this quote from Joan Rivers: “I’m project manager, I think, because of age. I’m the only one in there without a tampon in my pocketbook. So they just deferred to me.”
And now I defer to you, PopWatchers. How pumped are you for the premiere? (Related question: How ashamed are you about being pumped for the premiere?) Out of the entire cast — click here for the complete list of contestants — who do you think will win it all? (My money’s on poker champ Annie Duke or Mr. Sandra Bullock, Jesse James.) And two more things before I let you go. (1) Check back late Sunday to see Josh Wolk’s recap of the premiere, and (2) because I feel like being generous, here’s a little quiz/teaser for you all (winner gets an imaginary cupcake!): Which contestant shamelessly hits on Trump’s secretary outside the boardroom?