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Who should replace Jewel if she leaves 'Dancing with the Stars'?

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Jewel

JewelOh, great. Here we go again! Singer/Nashville Star host/former van resident Jewel alerted her fans via blog yesterday that she’s suffering from tendonitis in her knees, probably the result of her intense training sessions for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Jewel, whose rodeo star husband Ty Murray is also slated to compete this season, says she is “worried I won’t even be able to dance!” Hooray!

Is it just me, or has the DWTS set started to resemble the evacuation hospital on China Beach in recent years? Dance is grueling, y’all! Seems like a celebrity contestant of one of the show’s highly skilled partners hurts themselves every week when the show is filming (and let’s not even start with the national arena tour, where they drop like flies). Still, this could very well be a premature medical hiccup that will be cleared up before the show returns on March 8. But let’s say Jewel does end up forfeiting her spot on the show. Who would you like to see replace her? I’m throwing a hat in the ring for Marilyn Manson. He could use the work, right? Here are a few more reasons why I think Marilyn is an inspired choice:

1) Satisfactorily satisfies the I-was-big-in-1997 standard that has been set by Jewel
2) Certifiable nutjob; likely to provide colorful banter opposite equally certifiable nutjob/judge Bruno Tonioli
3) Opportunity to see Marilyn Manson wearing an outfit that non-ironically encompasses fringe and pleather
4) Likelihood of uncomfortable/totally awesome backstage drama with fellow contestants Lil’ Kim, Nancy O’Dell, and/or Denise Richards
5) Prospect of seeing on-again/off-again girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood in audience, scowling and sporting a baby tee with the slogan DANCIN’ MANSON

So: are you with me? If not, which celebrity do you want to see throw on their cha-cha heels and give it a go?

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