February 13, 2009 at 05:00 AM EST

”We hang out like friends. Like the friends from that program Friends.”
—Murray (Rhys Darby), explaining to the Conchords how they can be pals, not just colleagues, on Flight of the Conchords

”My grandmother used to say, ‘Sex sells.’ And I’d say, ‘Bubbe, put your clothes back on. You are scaring the customers!”’
—Nick Kroll, talking about Super Bowl ads, on Best Week Ever

”It’s like I said in my not-hit comedy Cruise Boat, ‘I’m getting too old for this ship.”’
—Tracy (Tracy Morgan), after a hard night of drinking, on 30 Rock

”I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.”
—Pam (Jenna Fischer) on The Office

”I’m one good colonic from being the old me.”
—Gaby (Eva Longoria Parker), bragging about her weight loss, on Desperate Housewives

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