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'Dancing With the Stars' pairs announced: Do I have to start tolerating Denise Richards?

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Denisemaks_l

Denisemaks_lYou tell me. The question’s making my heart fringe itself into an unattractive yet foxtrot-friendly tassel. I guess I’ll woman up, for Maks’ sake. ABC just announced the pro-celeb pairings for Season 8 of Dancing With the Stars. Fasten your sparkly cummerbuns!

Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan Roberts
David Alan Grier and Kym Johnson
Jewel and Dmitry Chaplin
Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower
Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska
Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff
Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough
Denise Richards and Maksim Chmerkovskiy (pictured)
Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer
Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas
Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke
Nancy O’Dell and Tony Dovolani
Lil’ Kim and Derek Hough

The Lil’ Kim/Derek combo further confirms my prediction that Kim could potentially take this thing. Meanwhile, Edyta’s been awarded her second footballer named Taylor — someone at ABC (not to mention the legwarmer-loving lady typing this right now) REALLY wants her to finally win a season. I’m pissed there’s no Anna Tre-BUN-skaya on the roster, but I’m digging the additions of So You Think You Can Dance alums Chelsie and Dmitry. What about you — would you give any of these couples a dramatic Bruno Tonioli “Teeeeeeeeeeeen”?

Read more: ‘Dancing With the Stars’
‘DWTS’: The official celebrity cast!
Shame-spiral video: How Do I Live Without Maks?
‘DWTS’ recap: Barack and Michelle attempt the foxtrot