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Exclusive: I have something important to tell you!

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Before I say what I’m about to say, I want you to know that I did not take this decision lightly. On the contrary, it was only after much soul-searching (yes, I have one) and discussion with my closest advisers that I arrived at this turning point. So, although I realize it may cause many of you a period of discomfort, maybe even pain, I had to do it for myself.

Beginning this week, Ask Ausiello is (deep breath) moving to Thursdays.

I’ll give you all a minute to collect yourselves.

The reason the column is being postponed by a day forevermore is as simple as it is important: my love of a good 13 hours’ sleep a night health. You see, in addition to my having to wrap up AA on Tuesdays, the magazine closes on Tuesdays, resulting in the kind of deadline logjam that would’ve driven lesser men to drink more. By bumping the column to Thursdays, I’ll not only get to stop pulling out the hair I so highly value, I’ll also be able to deliver you a stronger AA. And if I can’t do that… well, my hair IS really nice.

So what do you say? Can we make Thursday the new Wednesday? (Would it help if there were bumper stickers?) Are you gonna be okay? And more importantly, what about me? If you need a hug tomorrow or are feeling lonely, I’ll be available between the hours of 1:70 pm and 3:90 pm/ET outside EW’s offices in midtown Manhattan. First come first serve!