If a celebrity is looking for a career shot-in-the-arm (or, frankly, a few extra bucks), I so prefer the self-deprecating Web series over easier and far less creative Fox/VH1 reality show humiliation. David “Bud Bundy” Faustino, having already tried the latter (2002’s Celebrity Boot Camp) is now dabbling with the former in his new Web series Star-ving, which debuted its first three episodes last week on Crackle.com. It’s a simple, predictable premise: Having been screwed out of Married With Children residuals by his invalid manager, Faustino is now a pathetic, washed-up porn store proprietor. He lays it out in the show intro: “My money’s gone, my mother’s a midget, my wife left me for my neighbor Coolio….Oh, and I’m freakishly short. Thanks, God!” Ed O’Neill stars in the first episode (embedded below), where he drops some 50 or so F-Bombs in a short couple of minutes before driving off in his Porsche and telling Faustino “Suck my d—.”
The less-funny Episode 2 has Faustino babysitting Gilbert Gottfried’s obese, mentally handicapped 34-year-old son Sparky, and the third segment, starring Coolio, plays the wiggas-meet-Compton homeies card for all it’s worth. It’s moderately amusing, and Faustino’s co-star, and real-life friend,Corin “Parker Lewis” Nemec shows some promise (assuming you believe wiping your butt with adead plant is funny — I do). But with the O’Neil bit already done, I wonder if we aren’t already looking down the mountain on this thing. Faustino’s other Married co-stars, Katey Sagal (Peg Bundy) and Christina Applegate, are also scheduled to appear, and seeing as I’m a big Married fan, I’m on board for at least another couple of episodes. Anyone gonna join me?