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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from Dec. 26 to Jan. 1

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”Archaeologists in Europe claim they’ve found a 2,000-year-old shopping mall. When he heard this, Larry King said, ‘Did you find a wallet?”’
—Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”[It’s] so cold today that President Bush was ducking ski boots.”
—David Letterman on Late Show

”I’m not going to lie; I feel like a huge chin has been lifted off of my shoulders. ”
—Jimmy Kimmel, on Jay Leno staying at NBC and not moving to ABC, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

For weekly video recaps of all the best Sound Bites, go to ew.com/soundbites