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Exclusive First Look: My 2008 Christmas list

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Ausiellochristmas_lWhat do you get the guy who has everything for Christmas? Plenty! Behold my 2008 wish list, reprinted below with permission from Santy Claus.

• Emmys for everyone involved with the final season of The Shield, especially series creator Shawn Ryan and stars Michael Chiklis, Walton Goggins, and CCH Pounder.

• Platinum eligibility with American Airlines.

• A storyline for House‘s backburneritis-afflicted docs Jennifer Morrison (Cameron) and Jesse Spencer (Chase).

• A lopsided victory for USC at the Rose Bowl that earns them a piece of the BCS title. (C’mon, Santa, Hermie can whip this one up in his sleep; they’re playing Penn State, for chrissakes!)

• A completed Veronica Mars movie script.

World peace. This Smurf figurine to complete my collection.

• A Heroes volume that’s as solid in the middle and end as it is in the beginning. (Welcome back, Bryan Fuller!)

• A comeback for Nicole Kidman so ginormous it forces her mean-spirited critics to find another stunningly beautiful, Oscar-winning actress to pick on.

• No more stunt casting on 30 Rock…unless it’s Keri Russell, Lauren Graham, Cheri Oteri, or me.

• An exclusive exit interview with the fired actor who doesn’t yet know he/she has been fired.

• A fourth season of Friday Night Lights.

• A new contract that keeps Matthew Weiner calling the shots on Mad Men.

And end to the recession. A sushi bar at the Time Inc. cafeteria.

• A Grey’s Anatomy/Ghostbusters crossover.

• A fountain Diet Coke machine installed in my office.

Okay, I showed you mine — now you show me yours. What are you asking Santa/Hanukkah Harry/Kwanzaa Kenny for this year? C’mon, don’t be shy. I know they say the holidays are about giving, not receiving, but sources confirm to me exclusively that “they” are big fat liars.