Scott Brown
December 12, 2008 AT 05:00 AM EST

Scott Brown’s hit list

1. Jonas Brothers consider celebrating their Grammy nods with a visit to Pinkberry And if they win? Hot damn! It’s an Arby’s night.

2. Jamie Foxx says he’ll get the Obamas a pit bull to keep them ”street” He was going to buy them a lipstick-wearing pig but decided that would be ”too loaded.”

3. Report: Britney requires all backup dancers to be tested for drugs It’s part of the increasingly hard-to-meet house rule that no one should be having more fun than Britney.

4. Emma Watson says taking off her clothes is ”part of the job” Oh, Daniel Radcliffe. What a precedent you’ve set.

5. Streisand, President Bush share awkward kiss The most awkward part was when Bush gave her back some RATT tapes she’d left in the Lincoln Bedroom 10 years ago.

6. Keanu Reeves in testy verbal exchange with reporters I don’t believe it. That bit about a ”verbal exchange” just doesn’t ring true.

7. Soccer star and erstwhile ”Juggernaut” Vinnie Jones in bar brawl reportedly after someone asks if he’s ”that guy from X-Men To be fair, what Jones heard was ”that guy from X-Men with the fluffy angel wings.”

8. Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson spotted at art museum Don’t get too excited, aesthetes: The ”art museum” was Madame Tussauds.

9. Alyssa Milano requests restraining order against fan who was also ”over-obsessed” with Tiffany Sensing a pattern, authorities have beefed up security over at the Soleil Moon Frye Foundation.

10. Scientists ask computer to determine what Jim Morrison would look like today, at 65 ”Better than Val Kilmer,” the computer replied, in clipped, bitchy binary code.

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