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'The Hills': Spencer related to seemingly sweet human

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Thehills_lAfter last week’s fantastic episode, this week’s returned back ho-hum Hills land (you know, the land where storylines don’t really advance all that much and the cameras spend way too much time on Spencer’s face). Fortunately, we did get a chance to sample a new flavor: Nana! Seriously, how adorable was Spencer and Stephanie’s grandmother? And how in the world did MTV producers get such a sweet woman to agree to appear on a show that revolves around melodrama? Maybe this is the element that the show’s been missing all along: mature adults. (Then again, I guess that’s what we have 60 Minutes and Law & Order for, right?) Anyhow, on to last night’s highlights and lowlights (with convenient timestamps to help you DVR users fast-forward through the dreck!)

Up Hill Moment (26:00): You guessed it— this one goes out to my new homegirl Nana. To backtrack a little, Spencer spent a majority of the episode whining and nagging (so out of the ordinary for him, right?) about what a terrible person Stephanie was because she’d neglected to visit their Nana in Huntington Beach for a long, long time. “What kind of person doesn’t check in with their Nana?” he asked her. Um, Spence, dude, what kind of person talks to their own sister that way to a TV camera? (Also, who wants to bet that Spencer didn’t clue Nana in on his “sporadic nuptials” in Mexico two weeks ago? Now who’s the black sheep?) At first, I was a little annoyed at Stephanie for just standing there like a bump on a log and letting Spencer make her feel like crap, but then when she said, “I don’t know if I want to go and like listen to you like lie and say how great you are,” I understood more where she was coming from. Why even try to fight with the golden boy when he only hears his own voice anyway? Later on at Nana’s casa — where yes, even Heidi, a.k.a. Kiss A** No. 2, rubbed it in that they’d kept in constant touch with grammy: “Didn’t we see Nana last week?” she asked aloud for no good reason — Nana suggested that she and Steph spend some alone time the next day. This leads us to the official Up Hill Moment of the episode, in which the pair sat and talked endearingly on a bench by the beach. Stephanie confessed that she felt Spencer wouldn’t be Nana’s “favorite” if she knew more about him. Yeah, apparently Nana doesn’t have Internet or a subscription to any celebrity weeklies. “Well maybe it’s just as well I don’t know more about him because maybe I wouldn’t like him,” Nana replied and then continued, “You know, life is sometimes a bucket of worms and you don’t know what to do with them.” Aw, what a wise thought— I love people who compare Spencer to slimy, tiny-brained creatures.

Down Hill Moment (28:00): This one was a a bittricky because there wasn’t anything downright wrong or disturbingabout last night’s episode (besides the aforementioned nagging aboutfamily loyalty by the aforementioned d-bag), so I’m going with Laurenand Audrina’s meeting of the minds at Bond Street. Why is it that thesegirls choose to discuss such personal matters in such public places?Both of them have nice, big houses, so one would think they want tohave their heart-to-hearts in a more private setting. Anyway, Audrinatoiled and toiled over what to do about the loss of Lauren’s friendshipfollowing the Justin Bobby hook-up rumor (side note: I have to say, itwas pretty humorous when Brody asked  Lauren sarcastically, “Why youbanging Justin Bobby?”) and finally came to the conclusion— thanks toher now omnipresent sister, Casey— that she should just sit down andtalk to Lauren. The two (former?) besties continued to go back andforth about trust and yada yada yada until Audrina suddenlystarted to get teary-eyed and busted out with this doozy: “I’m justlost, I don’t know who I am anymore.” It seemed like it was a sincereadmission, and as much as I’ve put Audrina down in the past (and agreewith Lauren for being irritated with her), I still wished Laurenwould’ve just leaned over and hugged the poor girl.Instead, Lauren remained stern and made some comment about believingthat people want the best for Audrina. The conversation ended there andI’m not sure how much was actually solved, but I do know that momentwas extremely awkward.

Am I alone on that one? Or are you ready to movepast this whole Justin Bobby debacle and onto the next one? Are you asobsessed with Nana as much as I am now? (Seriously, Nana, if you’re outthere, let’s talk about starting our own advice column here on EW.com!)Finally, did you hear that Speidi’s “sporadic nuptials” were, in fact, caught on tape by The Hills cameras? Tell us below how this news makes you feel. (Options include: Icky, mortified, empty, or rageful.)

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