Scott Brown?s Hit List
1. James Franco offers to kiss David Letterman Letterman shyly demurs, saying he doesn’t go to first base until the third interview.
2. Vatican forgives John Lennon for saying the Beatles were more popular than Jesus Billy Joel, on the other hand, remains excommunicated for his controversial claim that ”only the good die young.”
3. China’s state media call Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy a Western attack The statement, long anticipated and 17 years in the making, has been criticized by some as overly polished.
4. Kristen Johnston poses nude with horse Smart. A similar stunt once revived Catherine the Great’s flagging career.
5. Madonna spotted having drinks with Sean Penn He punched a photographer. She wore her boob cones. A bottle of red, a bottle of white…
6. After finishing her fish course, Cameron Diaz makes out with her date at a restaurant Ultimate fantasy: A beautiful woman whispers, ”I want you so bad. Just let me finish my fish course.”
7. Hayden Panettiere designs new calfskin bag Slippery slope, Hayden. Before long, mark my words, you’ll be hawking dolphin hats.
8. President Bush pardons a singer who once dueted with Carly Simon I knew the adult contemporary syndicate had people high up. I just didn’t know how high up.
9. Steven Seagal, deputized by New Orleans police department, will star in COPS-like reality show Aren’t reality cop shows supposed to star real cops? Not make new cops out of old action stars?
10. Kanye West says he blogs in all caps because he’s lazy, not angry When he’s angry, he blogs IN FLAME!