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'The Hills' recap: Heidi's re-hired & Audrina's in looovvve

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Thehillsrecap_l

Thehillsrecap_lWelcome, Hills fans and PopWatchers! From now on we’re going to be condensing our weekly Hills TV Watch into this new format, which will alert you to the most important most absurd events of the night (with timestamps included). Think of all the time and energy you’ll save by fast-forwarding through the blank stares and mind-numbing filler and watching only the few key moments that will keep you Hills-literate when conversing with friends and coworkers. (Admit it, you’re relieved. The show has been lackluster lately, and now that it’s apparently gotten the green-light for another season, we could all use a mini-vacay.) Now onto last night’s episode:

Up Hill Moment (14:54): This one belongs to Audrina’s sister Casey. (BTW, does anybody on this show have any male siblings?) After listening to Audrina ramble on about how life with Justin Bobby was all stars, hearts, and butterflies (“Things are going really good,” Audrina said as she flashed those blinding pearly whites. “He’s been here a lot. His toothbrush is upstairs.”), Casey dropped this mood-killing bomb: “But he still does the whole like, ‘Oh I’m going to disappear for a week and not return your phone calls or texts and you’re not going to know where I am or what I’m doing.’ Like, what is that?” Audrina was dumbfounded. I, however, was oddly satisfied with Casey’s ability to crush Audrina’s moment of bliss so quickly and succinctly.

Down Hill Moment (16:41): The entire sceneat the SBE offices. First, Heidi, with camera crew in tow, greeted theassistant with, “My name is Heidi and I’m here for Sam.” Yeah, becausesaid assistant surely doesn’t watch The Hills, nor did shehave any clue why cameras were taping her. Secondly, what was up withbig-time CEO Sam’s office? Not only does he have a Star Trek/elevator-like door to enter, but  once you’re in, you’re faced with agiant computer screen— literally, it’s in your face—with wallpaperthat’s imprinted with a giant SBE logo. Last, but not least, I voted this scene the worst moment ofthe night because Sam gave Heidi her job back after only about oneminute of Heidi apologizing. WTF? In the “real world,” once you’refired, you’re not likely going to be promptly re-hired. Good thing she’s notliving in the real world then, right?

Honorable mention (28:09): Had the fight about Holly betweenSpencer and Heidi actually seemed legit, I would’vevoted it the “Up Hill Moment” of the episode, but alas it wasjust bad acting. Either way, I laughed out loud when Heidi finally saidto Spencer, “Maybe you’re the problem” because David Letterman just said the same exact thingto Lauren on his talk show. What are the odds? Do you think thisepisode was taped after or before Letterman aired? If it was after,then I wouldn’t put it past Speidi to mock Lauren. Actually, I don’tthink I would put it past Speidi to do anything anymore.

Okay, friends, on that note, tell me: What were your picks for best and worst moment of last night’s episode? Can Audrina please not wear J. Bob’s presentbraless? And how excited are you to see Audrina and Lauren battle itout over Justin Bobby next week?

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