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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

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”Bush also invited the Obamas to come visit him at the White House, which is a nice thing to do. I guess he wants to show him the presidential tree house, and teach him how to turn the Oval Office couch cushions into a fort.”
—Jimmy Kimmel on Jimmy Kimmel Live

”Jackson, look at me! I’m tipsy. I’m horny. I’m easier than a 5-year-old’s homework!”
—Susan (Teri Hatcher), trying to seduce Jackson, on Desperate Housewives

”White people stole jazz, rock & roll, Will Smith, and heart disease. Now they think they can take my hard-earned money.”
—Tracy (Tracy Morgan), after Jenna sues him for profits from his porn videogame, on 30 Rock

”I always blackmail people when I’m nervous. It’s part of my go-to.”
—Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), apologizing to new crush Connor after she threatened to expose all his dirty secrets, on Ugly Betty

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