Scott Brown?s Hit List
1. Britney Spears reunites with Madonna on stage, but just kisses her hand this time The surprising move sparked lurid rumors she’s now experimenting with Victorianism.
2. Angelina Jolie says her twins are ”starting to get very smiley” This is normal at 16 weeks. At 18 months, they’ll start to get very ”lippy.”
3. Knight Rider revamps, drops several regulars They only kept KITT: Now he’s a doctor at a hospital full of frisky, lovelorn residents.
4. Gavin Rossdale says his son is very Buddha-like ”Especially when he sits under a tree for days at a time, achieving oneness with everything. Kinda creeps me out, honestly.”
5. Twilight star says a 7-year-old fan asked him to bite her Kids these days! In such a hurry to be undead!
6. Evan Rachel Wood explains split with Marilyn Manson In the end, it came down to the usual: She left the cap off the toothpaste, he sacrificed a billy goat on her favorite blouse.
7. Val Kilmer reportedly mulling a run for New Mexico governor But probable opponent Michael Keaton wonders if it’s wise to trust such a high office to ”a one-term Batman.”
8. Showtime and the BBC developing a contemporary retelling of Camelot Sword-wielding serial killer Arthur hooks up with Guinevere, a high-priced call girl who sells weed to make ends meet.
9. Comedians say they’re worried that there aren’t enough funny things about President-elect Obama In an open letter, they humbly request that he at least shave some kooky word into his head.
10. Mariah Carey reveals that she and Nick Cannon waited until marriage for sex She also waited until after marriage to show him Glitter.