October 31, 2008 at 04:00 AM EDT

· Elisabeth Moss delivers an Emmy-worthy I-am-woman speech in the Mad Men finale. Somewhere, Helen Reddy is smiling
· A crappy economy, a pivotal election, and the return of ? AC/DC. Is it us, or did 1980 just crawl through the back door?
· David Letterman finally says to Lauren Conrad what everyone’s ?been thinking: ”Maybe you’re the problem.”

· The trailer for Clint Eastwood’s Gran Torino. Or as it should be called: You Damn Whippersnappers Get the Hell Offa My Lawn!
· Dear Facebook friends: For the umpteenth time, please stop inviting us ? to grow a lil green patch
· Why is Desperate ? Housewives wasting Dana Delany’s ? cunning Catherine the Great this season?

· Survivor‘s Ace: such a devious, dastardly ? rat that even Jeff Probst thinks the British ? accent is a put-on
· Need to feel better about ? yourself? You’re in luck. Celebrity Rehab is back on the air!

· 90210 starlet AnnaLynne McCord dresses up as Showgirls’ Nomi Malone for Halloween
· Beyoncé’s icredibly irritating request that fans now call her ”Sasha Fierce”
· Florence Henderson picks a fight with Cloris Leachman. Geritol and Metamucil line up as sponsors for upcoming pay-per-view cage match

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