Dear Jeffrey Sebelia,
I like you. I really do. Even though your evil ways tended to distract people from your work, I was always a fan of your line and considered you to be a worthy winner of Project Runway season 3. But Sunday night, for the first time, I found myself questioning your taste (gasp!). There I was, sitting on my couch, when I turned on VH1 and uttered a “jiggawha?!” at a curious sight — you, sitting beside Sharon Osbourne and judging the fashion sense of the Rock of Love Charm School girls in an elimination challenge. Since I’m already going through a Project Runway identity crisis, what with the show moving (maybe) to Lifetime, I have to ask: Why, oh why, Jeffrey, would you accept a stint as a guest star on Charm School? Did your neck tattoo tell you to do it? Or perhaps it was the fact that you like to make whiny grown women cry (e.g. fellow contestant Angela Keslar’s mom)? We know you pride yourself on being rock ‘n’ roll, but really, you should avoid VH1 like the plague. Or, since we’re talking about Rock of Love, like herpes.
P.S. On a more positive note, I have to give credit where credit’s due: props on the new porn ‘stache.