EW Staff
October 24, 2008 AT 04:00 AM EDT

”They tell you that everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame. What they don’t tell you is that 12 of those minutes are a rectal exam.”
—Correspondent John Oliver, on the media scrutiny of Joe the Plumber’s life, on The Daily Show

”That gives a whole new meaning to ‘Oh, my nose!”’
—Danielle Fishel, on The Brady Bunch‘s Maureen McCormick’s admission she once had a cocaine problem, on The Dish

”If that boy thinks I’m paying to put him through four years of puberty, forget it! Stupid kids think I’m made of hormones.”
—Homer, after Marge wonders whether Bart’s odd behavior is the result of his going through ”changes,” on The Simpsons

”Sweetie, you’re a hot teacher. To 150 pounds of puberty, your class is a Van Halen video.”
—Bella (Elizabeth Reaser), after some of Vivian’s students ogled her on the beach, on The Ex List

”Earlier this week on Wheel of Fortune, a contestant became the first person ever to win a million dollars. Unfortunately, he went out afterwards and blew it all on a fancy vowel.”
—Conan O’Brien on Late Night

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