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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

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”I have lost my ability to dance…. Last night, I tried to dance at a club and I unintentionally raised $2,000 for ‘my problem.”’
—Samantha (Christina Applegate) on Samantha Who?

”Director Oliver Stone is here to talk about his new film, W. I believe it is a prequel to Spike Lee’s X.”
—Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report

”How do you tell someone you care about deeply ‘I told you so’?”
—Michael Scott (Steve Carell) on The Office

”Everyone feels more comfortable when they’re surrounded by people who look like them. That’s why Martha Stewart bought Connecticut.”
—Barb (Wanda Sykes) on The New Adventures of Old Christine

”Gaby, Juanita is fat for your age.”
—Susan (Teri Hatcher), after Gaby accuses her of insinuating that daughter Juanita is fat for her age, on Desperate Housewives

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