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'Dancing With the Stars' style

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Do the tragicomic costumes on Dancing With the Stars leave you more bewildered than bedazzled? No more! Below, our handy field guide to the flashy ensembles of the ABC reality show.

I. SPECIES FRINGE

Examples: Misty May-Treanor, Julianne Hough, Kym Johnson

Benefits include the illusion of hip action and, in Misty’s case, an intense craving for tropical punch.

II. SPECIES SEQUINS

Examples: Brooke Burke times two

A more regal counterpart to fringe, sequins brighten the ballroom — and blind viewers to any missteps.

a. SUBSPECIES TIERED RUFFLES

Examples: Kim Kardashian, Cloris Leachman

The slightest butt-shake under a mound of these can simulate a real dance move!

b. SUBSPECIES SEQUINED FRINGE

Examples: Susan Lucci, Toni Braxton

Just a glimpse of this ultimate hybrid stuns competitors and judges into total submission.

c. SUBSPECIES SPARKLY STUDS

Examples: Warren Sapp, Tony Dovolani, Maurice Greene

Any guy swathed in shimmer deserves an automatic 10 from DANCMSTR.

For more on Dancing With the Stars, check out our TV recaps at ew.com/dwts

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