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'The Colbert Report' writers present questions for the debate

What we really should be asking Barack Obama, John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Joe Biden

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”Senator McCain, do you still think the economy is fundamentally sound? And can you lend me cab fare?”

”Senator Obama, got any hot sex tips for kindergarteners?”

”Governor Palin, would you please stop field dressing Charlie Gibson?”

”Senator Biden, please discuss the resurgence of Taliban militias in Afghanistan’s Bajaur region; Governor Palin, please spell ‘region.”’

”Senator Obama, can you finally admit you were wrong about the surge? Senator McCain, can you finally admit you were wrong about the Battle of Hastings?”

”Senator Obama, as a Chicagoan, how do you explain your relationship with known killer, deep dish pizza?”

”Senator Biden, would you care to stop talking? The debate ended three hours ago.”

”Senator Gravel, how did you get in here?”