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More fall TV

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Samurai Girl

ABC Family / Fri.-Sun. / 8-10PM

NEW This six-hour revenge tale stars Jamie Chung (Greek) as a Japanese girl whose family gets involved with the yakuza. So it’s kinda like a family-friendly version of Kill Bill, but not really. (Sept. 5-7)

Deal or No Deal

Syndication / Mon.-Fri.

Howie heads to syndication in this half-hour version of the prime-time smash. If leggy models aren’t your thing, perhaps free money is: One viewer will win $10K each week. (Sept. 8, check local listings)

The Rachel Zoe Project

Bravo / Tue. / 11PM-Midnight

NEW Stylist-to-the-stars Rachel Zoe proves that when a network runs out of celebrities to build reality shows around, it will seek out the next best thing. (Sept. 9)

Gym Teacher: The Movie

Nickelodeon / Fri. / 8-10PM

NEW Nickelodeon is going all out for this TV movie: Not only did they lure Chris Meloni (as a disgraced Olympian-turned-gym teacher) and Amy Sedaris (as a kooky principal), but they also snared Bruce Jenner for a cameo. (Sept. 12)

Trading Spaces

TLC / Sat. / 10-11PM

Paige Davis uses her powers of perk to help folks fix not only their homes but their relationships as well. (Sept. 20)

Trivial Pursuit: America Plays

Syndicated / Mon.-Fri.

NEW A frequent trivia question answer himself, Christopher ”Peter Brady” Knight hosts this interactive TV take on the classic board game. (Sept. 22, check local listings)

The Suite Life on Deck

Disney / Fri. / 8-8:30PM

NEW What happens when you take The Suite Life of Zack & Cody and add water? You get Disney’s latest tween comedy, starring Dylan and Cole Sprouse, and a luxury liner. (Sept. 26)

Little Britain USA

HBO / Sun. / 10:30-11PM

NEW

U.K. stars Matt Lucas and David Walliams bring their enormously popular — and severely twisted — sketch comedy series across the pond. (Sept. 28)

South Park

Comedy Central / Wed. / 10-11PM

After last spring’s ingenious Die Hard parody set in a ”living museum,” we’re wondering how Trey Parker and Matt Stone will top themselves in the second half of season 12 — but we’re sure they’ll find a way. (Oct. 8)

The Tony Rock Project

MynetworkTV Wed. / 9-9:30PM

NEW

Chris Rock’s younger brother Tony debuts his own brand of taboo-busting shenanigans, including man-in-the-street interviews and hidden-camera segments. Can Everybody Hates Tony be far behind? (Oct. 8)

Testees

FX / Thurs. / 10:30-11PM

NEW

Comedian/masochist Kenny Hotz (of Kenny vs. Spenny fame) brings viewers this sitcom about two schlubs (Steve Markle and Jeff Kassel) who make their living as medical test subjects. Hilarity — and grotesque side effects — ensue. (Oct. 9)

Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday

NBC / Thurs. / 9:30-10PM

NEW

The presidential election has left the SNL writers bursting with so many jokes, they’re forced to expand ”Weekend Update” to the workweek with three prime-time specials. (Oct. 9, 16, and 23)

LA Ink

TLC / Thurs. / 10-11PM

Tattoo artist extraordinaire Kat Von D is back, with a new boyfriend (Mötley Crüe’s Nikki Sixx) and a new makeup line. (Oct. 9)

Futurama: The Beast With a Billion Backs

Comedy Central / Sun. / 8-10PM

NEW

Bender and his crew tangle with a randy alien (voiced by David Cross) who’s gone mating-crazy in the TV debut of this DVD movie. (Oct. 12)

Legend of the Seeker

Syndicated / Sat.

NEW Nostalgic for those charmingly cheesy syndicated series shot in New Zealand? You’re in luck: Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess) are back with this fantasy epic starring wizards, fearsome warriors, and evil tyrants. (Nov. 1, check local listings)

Law & Order: Criminal Intent

USA / Thurs. / 10-11PM

Out: Chris Noth. In: Jeff Goldblum. Still there, and still odd: Vincent D’Onofrio. (Nov. 6)

Project Runway

Lifetime

While teams of reality TV scientists have been working around the clock, no one has yet uncovered what happens when you mix Bravo’s hippest show with Lifetime Television. Fortunately, no Tim Gunns were harmed in the making of this hybrid. (Fall TBA)

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF

MTV / Tue. / 10-11PM

NEW The world’s most inexplicably famous woman chooses her new best friend the only way she knows how: through a reality competition. Look for ”tests of loyalty, endurance, and girl politics,” which we’re guessing is something like boy politics — only not as good at math. (Sept. 30)

Star Wars: Clone Wars

Cartoon Network / Fri. / 9-9:30PM

NEW Continue on the small screen, George Lucas’ animated Jedi adventures will. Characters not in the Clone Wars movie (like General Grievous, battling Ahsoka, above), appear, they shall. Attempt pathetic backward-talking Yoda impersonations, we must no longer. Annoyed, you now are. (Oct. 3)

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