1. Mario Lopez to host pop talent competition show on MTV
I kinda get the feeling Mario Lopez would host a Sbarro grand opening, if they told him he could keep the wardrobe.
2. McCain camp scolds Madonna for including him in her tour’s dictator video montage
It’s even worse than when the Oscars mistakenly included him in the ”In Memoriam” montage.
3. Michael Phelps lands book deal
The book will be proportioned differently than any other book, with extra-long pages and wider dust flaps.
4. Malaysia allows Avril Lavigne concert, despite concerns that it’s too sexy
As a compromise, Lavigne has promised to break wind, scratch herself inappropriately, and talk incessantly about Babylon 5.
5. Warner Bros. sues Indian studio over the title of its film Hari Puttar — A Comedy of Terrors
This is what set them off? Warner Bros. obviously doesn’t keep up with porn titles.
6. Paris Hilton says she’s going to Britain to find new best friend
She loves the way they talk like an old movie over there.
7. Serbian town unveils Bob Marley statue
It makes me dream of the day a peaceful Baghdad unveils a giant bronze Regis Philbin.
8. Asked about rekindling romance with K-Fed, Shar Jackson says they’ve ”passed that stage”
As has America, Shar. As has America.
9. On her blog, Rosie O’Donnell says Caroline Kennedy might’ve worn her blouse inside out on TV
Exactly two people noticed this: Rosie, and that one kid from Kris Kross.
10. ”Fearing for his safety,” L.A. cop draws gun on Diddy’s entourage
Keep in mind, this is the same cop who, back in the early ’90s, thought Hammer might actually hurt him.