I just read InTouch’s latest gossip about possible casting choices for Dancing With the Stars‘ upcoming seventh season — an official announcement is supposed to be made August 25 on Good Morning America — and all I can say is “Waaah waaah waaahn.” I stopped religiously watching DWTS midway through season 4, but seriously, doesn’t it seem like it’s time to break out of the former boy-bander/burly male athlete/all-grown-up teen-series alumnus/yadda yadda yadda doldrums? Alleged contenders for the Disco Ball Trophy include Toni Braxton, Kim Kardashian (ick!), Ty Murray, Dan Marino, Lance Bass and Florence Henderson, but I say j’enough!Here’s my (partial) dream lineup for Season 7:
Mo’Nique (pictured, top left): Let’s see Louis van Amstel try to boss around this lady!
Mischa Barton: Someone has to get voted out first.
Eartha Kitt (pictured, bottom right, and already favoring sequins): I recently saw the octogenarian’s live set at New York’s Café Carlyle, and eighty is officially the new forty.
Lita Ford: And just like that, leather shakes up the sequins vs. fringe rivalry.
Alexandre Despatie (pictured, top right): I googled “hot Olympians” and look who I came up with!
Macaulay Culkin: [Place hands on cheeks; scream.]
Andrew Shue (pictured, bottom left): Do something, Andrew!
Erik Estrada: Let’s see what the DWTS costume crew can do with a motorcycle-cop inspiration!
Who else should be on the DWTS season 7 lineup? Ready, set, cast!
addCredit(“Despatie: Rick Stevens/AP; Shue: Vera Anderson/WireImage; Kitt: Paul Hawthorne/Getty Images”)