Question: You’re calling this a “revolutionary new weekly column”? Really now? — Laura
Ausiello: OMG, you must check out this awesome site I just found!
Question: OK, I’ll bite on your latest blind item: What sorta-hit series will employ a game-changing gay twist that’ll drastically alter the direction of the show? — Amy
Ausiello: If you guessed CBS’ Big Bang Theory you were… close: Right network, wrong show. The correct answer is (drumroll, please… ) The New Adventures of Old Christine! Per my new Old mole, producers are taking advantage of California’s new gay marriage law by marrying off leading lady Julia Louis Dreyfuss to another woman. And not just any woman — Wanda Sykes’ Barb! [Hold for laughs] What? Why? When? Where? All good questions. And in time, I will answer them. But for now, just take a moment to relish the thought of Christine and Barb vowing to love, honor and obey each other for the rest of their lives!
Question: I’m dying to have some juicy Lost tidbits. I’ll take anything I can get. — Brittany
Ausiello: Damn straight you will! Team Darlton is doing their
annual “radio silence” thing, so Lost scoop is at a premium these days.
Luckily, I managed to unearth this little morsel: John Terry
(Christian) and Alan Dale (Widmore) are in talks to return next season
on a recurring basis. Big frakkin’ whoop, right? Well, here’s where it
gets interesting: In the fine print of both their contracts, it states
that Lost has the right to pick up series regular options on both
actors for the show’s sixth and final season. For insight into what
this could possibly portend for Lost’s endgame, please join me in
welcoming the man, the myth the legend, guru of all things Lost, Mr.
Doc Jensen! “The prospect of expansive roles for Jack’s maybe-dead dad
and Penelope’s dastardly deep-pocketed pop suggests a theory about the
Island’s true significance. Here is a seemingly-magical place where the
lame can walk anew, the impotent can once more shoot bullets, and
anyone can crank on ancient donkey wheels and leap through time. In
other words, the Island provides the means for death-spooked mortals to
cheat the grim reaper. I’m betting that’s why Old Man Widmore is so
desperate to find it. As for Ghost Dad, the Island allows him to stick
around in his inexplicable spectral state and might even be
facilitating a full-blown bodily resurrection; either scenario
represents a violation of the natural order of things. In the end, Jack
will no doubt have to convince his father — and possibly his maybe-dead
half-sister Claire, too — that they need to move on. Regardless,
keeping Terry around portends an emotional climax to Jack’s father
issue arc.” Really? You got all of that from my one little casting
Question: Does your new office at EW have a window? Because you haven’t really arrived unless you get both a door and a window. — TK
Ausiello: It has a window, a door and a bidet. Smell me, right?
Question: I’ve got a burning Grey’s Anatomy question leftover from
your TV Guide days: Which of those season finale smooches was the
“major kiss no one would see coming” that Shonda Rhimes alluded to?
Ausiello: Well, contrary to popular belief, she was not
referring to Mer/Der’s candlelit trailer park pucker. As Rhimes tells
me, although she feels all of the kisses featured in the episode “were
worth leaning into the television for,” the one she felt was the most
surprising “was Alex and Izzie. But my personal favorite is Bailey
kissing Baby Tuck.” I tend to agree with her. About Alex/Izzie. The
Bailey/Tuck lip-lock was just awright for me.
Question: Is loose-lipped Katherine Heigl still employed at Grey’s Anatomy? Janice
Ausiello: She showed up to this season’s first table read last week, so it looks like it. Oh, to be a fly on that wall.
Question: Got anything new on Grey’s? Please tell me they’ve gotten rid of Rose! — Michelle
Nope, she (i.e. Lauren Stamile) was at the table read, too! And as my
buddy Mitovich at TVGuide.com is reporting, she was doing what she does
best: stirring up trouble!
Question: Please make my week by spilling anything you know about
the Shonda Rhimes-penned two-hour Grey’s season premiere. — Becca
There will be a slight time lapse between the finale and the premiere.
We’re talking more than a few days and less than a month.
Question: I’m dying for some Grey’s scoop, specifically related to Callie and Erica. — Emily
There’s a rumor going around that Callie will start off the season with
a little McSteamy in the oven, but a reliable Grey’s insider insists
it’s “not true.” That begs the question: Does a denial of scoop qualify
as scoop itself? Discuss in the comments section below.
Question: I will follow you to Smurf village if you throw me a bone
about NCIS. Are they going to tear the best team ever apart? — Juliet
If by “they” you mean the producers and “team” you mean Gibbs and Co.,
then the answer is yes. NCIS will, in fact, take a page from House’s
unorthodox playbook this fall and introduce a new crew for Gibbs. We’ll
also learn what happened to McGee, DiNozzo and Ziva after Vance
Question: Any news yet on how long Gibbs’ new team will stick around on NCIS? — Bonnie
Well, that depends on how you interpret this cryptic tease from exec
producer Shane Brennan: “As we have learned from the past, no one is
ever safe, and before the end of the season premiere, a member of
Gibbs’ team will die.” A member of his old team?! A member of his new
team?! One of the holdovers?! No comment!!
Question: Do we still call ourselves Ausholes? — Laura
Ausiello: Does According to Jim still call itself a comedy? ‘Nuff said.
Question: Spill the beans on your Lauren Graham sighting already! How’d she look? Did she give you any scoop? — Craig
I know I can be a little biased when it comes to all things LG, but I
swear, the woman looked absolutely radiant. As much as I hate to say
it, I think this extended tube hiatus has done wonders for her positive energy output. She was also chattier than usual, but, unfortunately,
she made me promise not to “race home and put it in my blog.” (The
takeaway: LG knows I have a blog!) This much I feel comfortable sharing
with you: Lauren was very aware of my (ultimately futile) campaign to get
her cast in NBC’s Office spin-off. And I’ll just leave it at that.
Question: Congratulations and lots of luck at EW! Now, about your
run-in with Lauren Graham: Did she say anything about a possible return
to TV? — Gabriella
Ausiello: She didn’t. And even if she did, it was
off the record. However, I have since come to learn that her peeps
expressed interest in Will & Grace vet Jhoni Marchinko’s HBO pilot
Driving Around with Joni, about a 40-year-old widow who cruises around
L.A. with her French bulldog searching for meaning in her life. I don’t
think it’s going to happen, though. And it’s probably for the best. As Paul Anka can
attest, Lauren doesn’t have a lot of patience for four-legged co-stars.
Question: I have been expecting your reaction to the Lost season
finale, but so far nada. You promised to offer us your “surprising
critique” on July 2. How about it? — Kristhian
Kristhian…. my dear, sweet Kristhian. You must be new at this. As any
blue-blooded Aushole can attest, I rarely keep my promises. Besides,
the “surprising critique” I “promised” was about Fringe, not Lost.
There’s nothing surprising about my reaction to the Lost finale. As I
suspected, it was a mind-bending, action-packed triumph. My only
quibble: Kate and Sawyer’s kiss was, at least IMHO, more Bailey/Tuck than Alex/Izzie.
Didn’t really rock my world like I thought it would. Fringe, meanwhile,
was solid around the edges but a little weak in the middle. The first
15 minutes were about as perfect as a TV show gets, but then it hit
snooze for about an hour, before roaring back to life at the end. I
hear J.J. Abrams and his team are tinkering with the pilot a bit, so I
have faith that he’ll deliver a finished product that is all parts
awesome. And here’s a bit of scoop: I can confirm that J.J. is writing
Fringe’s second episode alongside exec producers Jeff Pinkner and
Question: Is there any word on the casting of Ryan on Brothers & Sisters? Is Gregory Smith in contention for the role? — Joann
The word is that it’s a longer ways off than we first thought. My
Walker family mole tells me that Ryan isn’t slated to be introduced
until the second half of the season. And no, Gregory Smith is not up
for the part, and I totally “get” why. As fraktacular as he would’ve
been as Ryan, bringing him in so soon after Emily VanCamp would’ve
teetered on Everwood overkill — and that’s coming from someone who, as you know, loved Everwood. As a result, I’m redirecting my considerable resources
(um, that’s you, Ausholes!) to try and get another immensely talented
up-and-comer cast as hard-living Ryan: Jason Dohring. Perhaps you’ve
heard of him?
Question: Mr. Ausiello, I look forward to your posts regarding a certain island. — Jeremy Bentham
Ausiello: You can quit the charade. I know it’s you, Locke.
Question: Do you have anything about Chloe on Smallville? — Aqgalaxy
Get ready for a Jimmy/Chloe/Doomsday triangle, although I have a
feeling I know which suitor will ultimately win her heart: the one who
doesn’t turn out to be a serial killer! Just a hunch.
Question: As a faithful Aushole,
can you give me some Boston Legal scoopage? Who’s expected back next
season? — Scott
Ausiello: Christian Clemson, Tara Summers, James
Spader, Capt. Kirk, Murphy Brown and that smarmy lawyer from Night
Court are all returning as series regulars.
Question: Do you think you could manage some scoop on Pushing Daisies? — Denise
Unbeknownst to both Chuck and Ned, someone with close ties to one (or
both) of them has been frequenting the Pie Hole for quite some time.
Question: Are you sure that Stella is the Mother on How I Met Your Mother? — Julie
I’m sure that I hope she’s the mother. But I don’t think anyone’s sure, to
be honest. Except maybe ***** *********. But the less I say about that
Question: Sarah Wayne Callies has said that she was in talks with
another show before rejoining Prison Break. I’m sure it was to
replace Diane Farr on Numbers. Am I right? — Isabelle
aren’t! By the time Numbers got around to replacing Farr, SWC already
had a deal at Prison Break. Besides, she was already on Numbers back in
Season 1. Remember? If so, remind me who she played in the comments
section, ’cause I’ve got nothin’.
Question: I’m hearing Rikki is coming back to CSI:NY. Is it true? — Jessi
Ausiello: ‘Tis true! A CBS spokesperson confirms that Jacqueline Pinot will return for a “few” episodes this season.
Question: I think your first “revolutionary new weekly column” should feature some Smallville spoilers. — Jesse
From everything I’m hearing, there will be a lot more comedy this
season, courtesy of those new adventures Lois and Clark will be
Question: Thanks for the scoop on the Criminal Minds spin-off. I,
for one, would love to see Mandy Patinkin patch things up with
producers and headline the new show. What are the chances of that
happening? — Whitney
Ausiello: I’d put the odds at somewhere between
“not a chance in hell” and “never in a million years.” Looking back on
the whole experience, exec producer Ed Bernero admits Patinkin’s hasty
exit was ultimately good for the show. “I’m actually glad it happened,”
he says. “The whole cast gels much better now. There were times when
having someone like Mandy on the show was not unlike having an alcoholic
parent; you never really knew when things are going to go bad. I
realized that after he left. I would leave [work] every night fully
expecting to have to come back for some reason. That something would go
wrong. And you sort of realize after a couple of months that, ‘Wow,
everything is a lot calmer than it was.’” So you tell me, Whitney: Do you think this relationship can be saved? ‘Zactly.
OK, my first AA at EW is a wrap! Now for some very important housekeeping notes:
• For more scoop and spoilers (including some exclusive stuff I
haven’t included here), pick up the new issue of Entertainment Weekly,
on sale Friday.
• My new weekly webcast, Ausiello TV, debuts this Friday and,
man, are you in for a treat. Not a literal treat like a Tootsie Roll,
but a figurative treat, like, something better than a Tootsie Roll.
• Send any/all questions and/or hot (anonymous) tips to email@example.com
• There’ll be no Ask Ausiello next week. (“WTF? You just
started?!”) Don’t yell at me! It’s not my fault! That annual fright of
passage known as the Television Critics Assoc. press tour kicks off on Monday,
and for eight straight days, I’ll be too busy filling this blog up with
every scoop, spoiler and embarrassing moment that comes my way to
tackle a massive weekly undertaking like this. Translation: Be nice to
• Finally, use the comments section below to
tell me how much you loved weigh in on my first AA at EW!