Total Guitar magazine recently named Celine Dion and Anastacia’s rendition of AC/CD’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” (from 2002’s Divas Las Vegas concert on VH1) as the worst song cover of all time. (Thanks to Popeater for the heads up.) As a rabid Anastacia fan who still can’t understand the American songbird’s lack of success in her home country — the uninitiated should go directly to “Paid My Dues” without passing ‘Go’ or collecting $200 — I had no choice but to write a blog item in her defense.
My pick for the world’s worst cover would have to be Jessica Simpson’s “These Boots Are Made for Walkin'” (embedded after the jump). Bad enough that the Newlyweds star commits attempted sexy against Nancy Sinatra’s 1966 classic using a wheeze/speak that’s about as erotic as an asthma attack, but she also treats the song’s saucy lyrics with all the care of a dock worker gutting a freshly caught tuna. Thus, genius turns of phrase such as “You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin'” and “I just found me a brand new box of matches” get replaced with bland references to Simpson’s role in the related big-screen remake of TV’s Dukes of Hazzard. Add an unfortunate “rap” interlude, the sullying of legend Willie Nelson’s good name, and a video that pairs one of my favorite old-school female-empowerment anthems with footage of Simpson writhing suggestively against a suds-soaked motor vehicle, and, well, clearly I’ve done my duty of expunging the offending title from Anastacia’s record.
Then again, perhaps you all have your own nominees for the all-time worst cover. List your choice in the comments section below, and because I like to be a little evil (especially on Mondays), I must insist that you limit yourself to one song, and one song only. Ready, set, reveal!