Editing ‘Sex and the City’
How did Sex and the City end up being 146 minutes long?! Watch as we edit the movie for beleaguered boyfriends and husbands everywhere. (Everyone else, be warned: Mild spoilers follow!)
As the movie opens, Big buys Carrie a huge Fifth Avenue pad, then agrees to marry her.
1. -5 MINS.
First scene to go: the one where the women meet Samantha on the street and shriek. And shriek. And shriek. Do women really shriek at one another like this? While we’re at it, let’s lose the whole auction scene that follows.
2. -10 MINS.
Love you and your snappy Diane Arbus quip, Candice Bergen, but you’re fired. In fact, any scene that has the word Vogue in it is gone. That name-brand-dropping, retail-porn wedding-dress montage? It’s not even going on the DVD!
Samantha ogles her neighbor in Malibu. Meanwhile, Carrie’s wedding goes awry.
3. -20 MINS.
Here’s a rule: If the scene isn’t set in NYC, it’s out. This means a lot less Samantha, but that’ll teach her for moving to L.A. Her subplot with the well-endowed fornicator next door is deadly.
4. -2 MINS.
More silly fashion, more loud shrieking: We’re cutting the girly ”Walk This Way” dress-up sequence where Carrie models old clothes while her friends caterwaul on the couch. Easy call.
Like the Wild Bunch before them, the girls head to Mexico.
5. -20 MINS.
You know what? Let’s ax the whole Mexico sequence. Remember the rule: No NYC, no mas. Just jump to Jennifer Hudson. Carrie’s still mopey then, too.
Carrie gets an assistant, Charlotte gets news, it’s Valentine’s Day, etc., etc.
6. -10 MINS.
Charlotte’s news flash? Who cares? As punishment for the ”Poughkeepsie” scene (don’t ask), we’re cutting her out of the rest of the movie…
Fashion show, Valentine’s Day dinners, couples therapy: God, when will this thing end?
The whole gang prepare to live happily ever after. Until the sequel.
7. -10 MINS.
…which means Big can’t come to Charlotte’s aid late in the movie anymore, setting up the ending. He and Carrie will just have to run into each other in the supercloset now. Seems a little random, but at least it gets us out of here.
Total running time: 146 MINS. Our running time: 69 MINS.