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''The Hills'' are a bore

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The recent mini-season of The Hills (which ends May 12) should have gone down like a fizzy glass of champagne. Instead, it felt more like a flat can of soda, with fans enduring one lame week in Paris and pointless roommate/relationship squabbles. Tracking the new fashion brands that LC, Whitney, and Heidi are building — very far from the cameras — would make for a juicier story line. MTV needs to wise up and show us the truth about the lives that it has created for these sudden tabloid superstars. The squealing fans, the hovering paps, the cover shoots…this exhausting circus has yet to be seen on the show, leaving too much screen time for petty concerns. Do you really think Heidi’s more worried about Spencer’s passing flirtation in a bar than how badly her leaked single bombed? (On second thought, don’t answer that.) When TV’s guiltiest pleasure returns in August, it’ll need a booster shot of honest-to-God reality to grab our attention again. Otherwise, it may be time to head for a new set of hills.

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