Youyoung Lee
April 11, 2008 AT 04:00 AM EDT

Gordon Ramsay vs. Julia Child

The cooks on ”Hell’s Kitchen: Season 1,” now on DVD, might have avoided Gordon Ramsay’s outbursts — ”F—ing overgrown muffin!” — had they studied a calmer culinary pro, Julia Child, on ”The French Chef.”

EPISODE 1: A POULTRY PROBLEM
A mouthful of Jimmy’s goat-cheese-stuffed chicken causes Ramsay to do a spit take: ”Dehydrated camel’s turd!”

”There isn’t really any reason to stuff it,” says Julia, before demonstrating how a ”spit-roasted chicken” is much ”juicier.”

EPISODE 3: FISHY BUSINESS
Chris’ bland poached sole and cauliflower inspires this bizarre but biting insult from the chef: ”It’s the kind of thing you serve to your sick rabbit.”

Julia fries her fish and dresses it simply, with lemon and butter. If you do poach your poisson, remember her wise words: ”Not having the slit belly is particularly useful!”

EPISODE 1: ROE HE DIDN’T!
Eventual season 1 winner Michael’s first dish — pan-seared scallops with roe — turned Ramsay’s stomach. ”You got a palate like a cow’s backside!” he barked.

Julia mixes lobster roe with tamale (lobster liver), mayo, and herbs, then spoons it onto the shellfish. Delectable enough to please even the most hellacious reality TV chef!

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