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Breaking: Jimmy Kimmel eats crap, can do push-ups

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For his latest guest star-laden publicity stunt, the late-night host celebrated episode 1000 with personal trainer Richard Simmons in clip that I personally think should have been even more Big Lebowski-esque in scope than it already is.

Eh. I much preferred Simmons’ last visit to ABC, during which his sheer emotional intensity made DWTS contestant Jennie Garth cry. I must say, though, I’m pretty psyched that Richard Simmons and I are members of the same, exclusive Loserish Personas Who Carry Magic Wands In Web Videos club. I knew we had a lot in common!