A new full promo for Sex and the City: The Movie was leaked online last week and, being staunch entertainment professionals, we watched it on an obsessive loop. After much analysis, here’s what we were able to glean of the top secret plot (unless the film’s distributor, New Line, is messing with us): Carrie and Big’s wedding is canceled, sending Carrie into a pit of self-wallowing and an unflattering brunet hair color. She also makes time to interview a personal assistant, played by Dreamgirls‘ Jennifer Hudson. Steve betrays Miranda in some way (”It didn’t mean anything”) — let’s just hope the scandal in question isn’t the horizontal mambo with Magda. After a successful adoption, Charlotte gets pregnant. As for Samantha? Well, she’s still horny, but now she’s horny while wearing a really large hat. In all honesty, the story could consist of the four main ladies playing Scrabulous for two hours, and we’d still be there opening night on May 30, cosmos in hand.