Want to watch someone use her computer on TV (pictured)? You’re in luck! The very first web-to-TV series, NBC’s quarterlife revolves around an angsty 20-something blogger who can’t stop confessing her deepest, darkest s— online and posting incriminating videos of her good friends. She has to do it, because she’s always honest, and that’s just how she is. Writers are like that, why can’t you deal? Here’s why I can’t deal: People, even writers, are NOT REALLY LIKE THAT. You probably have no idea what I’m talking about because only 3.8 million people watched the show, but the main character, Honest Dylan, would be blown off the face of the planet if she existed in real life. Nothing about her “blog” (hello: vlog! no written content!) was realistic, particularly the notion that anyone would want to
read watch it. Why was I getting so angry about this?!?! I couldn’t help but wonder!
I think this is why. Aside from Honest Dylan’s tendencies to plant her face an inch away from the camera (I like to keep a distance of at least 10 feet) and wear multiple layers including ugly sweatshirts to the office (I am always fashion-forward. Ha! Yeah right!)… statistics-wise, I practically am an alternate version of Dylan. We’re the same age. We both have a blog. We’re both editorial underlings at a magazine (though mine is way better, suck it, Dylan!). We both eat Cheetos with the bag upside down and think it’s really quirky and cute to do so, even — no, make that especially — if no one else is around. Ask either one of us and we’ll tell you: We are quite simply the greatest things ever. That’s a fine and relatively innocuous thing to think, occasionally. But watching this on-screen embodiment of the 21st Century Blogger? Excruciating. Basic math: If Dylan disgusts Annie, and Annie is like Dylan (at least on paper — or in cyberspace!), then by the transitive property, ANNIE DISGUSTS HERSELF. As Dylan points out, “We blog to exist, therefore we are idiots.” Bingo.
P.S. I’m obviously going to keep watching. Someone has to. Next week: A video PopWatch featuring special guest, the freeze-dried ice cream that’s been on my desk for eight months!
P.P.S. Um, hi, Winona Ryder in Reality Bites — THAT WAS NOT IRONIC.
P.P.P.S. But this post sure was, huh?
P.P.P.P.S. Love me! Love me!
P.^5.S. BLOGGING IS LIFE.
Did any of you tune in? Or had you seen this online before NBC picked it up? It’s all about “the ‘Net” these days.